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Hello All!

A lot of people have asked me to tell my version of the stuff that has happened. At first I wasn’t sure that I want to do it publicly, but Samu’s “version” in his diary made me think otherwise.

Let’s start with what really happened. Wednesday, 8 August 2007, the world that I knew came to an end. Our manager Bob called me up and instead of the usual ‘small talk’ he started with: “Terrible, just terrible”. Instantly I knew that something really bad has happened. First thing that came to my mind that hopefully there were no casualties. In a way that was the case. Bob told me that last night during long discussion over the phone, Samu had made up his mind. This band will not go on with me in it. To put it in another way, the record company/management has to get rid of me. Otherwise Samu will walk out. At that time Bob didn’t have any specific reason for it. Later Samu told me over the phone that the reason was ”lack of musical input” and that he has some personal issues towards me that cannot be resolved. He also told me that one other guy in the band had also trouble with his “musical input” but since he didn’t have any personal issues with him, the other guy could decide himself if he wants to shape up and continue.

So there is no doubt that this was Samu’s decision. The thing that he is now hiding behind the management, record company and the other band members just shows a lot of his character.

It turns my stomach upside down to read Samu’s “not-an-open-letter” from the diary that he writes in we-format. Everybody can for sure tell from the text that he still cannot say any concrete reason for this. Samu tells in the story that for example last year the band has asked for help on this matter. This thing is either totally made up or all the participants were not present. At least I was completely unaware of any such thing. Cowardly the text also says that if we would more deeply define the reasons behind this in public, it would only hurt me more. I can say right here and now, that I can allow all the details to be exposed in public. My conscience is clean. I think that if Samu would have any reason for this that he could tell without harming himself, he would have already done it. Everyone who really knows me, knows that you can’t really make me such a huge problem that the story hints. Even a number of the people that have signed this letter know this. You don’t really want to get confused with Samu’s interest in my well being either. After the things he said to me over the phone, I don’t think he can hurt me more. Of course you never know...

The purpose of the writing is to reduce all the things that relate to this matter. Eloquently write how tough this decision is to the band (to Samu) and that this has to be done or otherwise the band would not go on. It also says that some of the guys have had to come to the shows with their own cars because they didn’t feel comfortable in the buss. In real life the reason for this has been that this way there is no need for the band members to come to the venue many hours before the show and naturally they could leave right after the show. We have even driven with the same car with Samu after a show just the two of us. Talking in totally good spirit about how great the life is. Little over a month later the same guy makes a decision that I am not allowed to continue anymore. Thinking of that, you can really say something about the impulsiveness of this decision or then the abilities of Samu in general.

I noticed in the early spring, that Samu was a little bit stressed out. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Other guys noticed that too. We were wondering why this was the case, since we were in the point where we could finally start to enjoy the fruits of our long work. As we were good friends, I naturally tried to ask him now and then that what seemed to be the problem. Usually I received a passive response and a request to give him “space”. Sometimes we sat down with all of the guys and discussed the things that are bothering us. Usually it was about that all the guys need to focus on the main thing, playing. Everybody naturally agreed. For some reason the conversation turned sometimes to Samu’s feeling that he wasn’t appreciated enough for all the efforts that he has made for this band and to us. Every time we thought out loud that what we could do to show our appreciation more. It was very clear to all of us that Samus’s efforts in this band are essential. It is kind of ironic that the guys that probably enjoyed the most respect in this band were the ones who were always asking for it the loudest. Go figure…

Common principle is that it takes two to make a fight but in this matter I can honestly say that I never have had a problem with Samu. Samu has occasionally told me how he is bothered that I am bothered about something. I have told him every single time that I don’t have a problem with anything or anyone in this community and that I’m living my dream. Apparently Samu never believed me because he always brought up the same things over and over again. I’m not saying that I haven’t done anything wrong or that I’ve never been wrong. Samu just hasn’t been able to tell me any concrete thing that I do wrong in his opinion. Personally I took it so that the thing is not that big deal if he can’t even point out what is the problem. It seems that I was horribly wrong. Still I don’t really believe that this was the main reason. If you look at how Samu has responded to my request for talks or compromises, you can clearly see that thing is that he just simply wanted to get rid of me for one reason or the other. From that you can really see the level of appreciation towards me and some others in the band. This last thing is not a conclusion. He has really said it to me.

One thing is how this matter was handled. The message was told to me via manager. Samu didn’t call me until I strongly demanded from many involved people to speak to him directly. I’m not convinced if he would have ever called me if I haven’t done so. Second thing is that I really found out that this thing comes down to me at the exact moment they informed me that I have to leave. From that moment on I spend five days trying to get people to speak to Samu and make him at least postpone his decision and try to find out some sort of compromise. Every time Samu’s answer was strict no. The situation felt unreal. Within these five days I talked to all of the people who are involved in this and all of them had the same opinion; This don’t make any sense and we should definitely try to solve it before making the decision. After five days I was contacted by a lawyer that was hired by the rest of the band members and the record company. He told me that he would take care of this matter from that point on. After that I haven’t got any response to my calls or messages. I would be ready to sit down and try to solve this even today, but Samu doesn’t think it is possible anymore.

Five years of work down the drain in one day.

It is frightening thing to think that someone can do something like this, especially when the person is someone that you consider one of your closest friends. When you look at the journey that we have made with Samu, what kind of obstacles we have gone through or over, it is hard to believe where we stand today. There was a time when nobody but us, Samu and me, believed that this thing could ever become something. WE were the ones that had the desire to go on no matter what. I think that those times are now too far away or then it never had any meaning at all. What ever is truth? I don’t know. I don’t honestly know the guy that is posing as Samu today. Did I ever know him? That I probably will never find out.

I’ve understood that the common opinion now is that Samu and me wouldn’t just “fit in the same tour buss” anymore. I just want to add to that, that I have never had any problem fitting into the same buss with anyone. Everyone can decide from there that whose ego this thing comes down to. One other strange thing in this is that the day before my “judgement”, Jukka informed us, via Samu though, that he would leave the band after this year. The reason for that was that he didn’t feel that he would be able to produce our next album if he was needed on the road all the time. At least I thought that it was a great shame but if he had that opinion, we should respect it. Couple of weeks after that Jukkas pictures have replaced my pictures on the web page. It’s really hard see where is the logic behind of all this, but it sure is starting to look like an afternoon soap.

It is hard to explain the feeling that you have after a thing like this. When you have put your life on the line, sacrificed most of your children’s childhood, almost all the time from family and friends, for something that you feel is physically part of you. Just when you are beginning to see that the sacrifice could someday pay off, the whole thing is wiped away. I think that there is nothing worse than if your closest friend turns his back on you, except if all of your closest friends do the same. By this I mean the people who have silently agreed to this even if they know it is wrong. I’m sure that the knife in my back will turn every time I see the remaining band doing what they do. To me that band is not Sunrise Avenue, even if they call them selves by that name.

Everyone who know me, know for sure what Sunrise Avenue meant to me. It feels unreal to think that I can never step on that tour buss again and that I’m not a part of that “big happy family” that I have always proudly been part of. I have been so proud to see the joy and determination that has kept this train moving. Every single person has been irreplaceable in this game and I sincerely thought that that would be the case to the very end. Again I was wrong.

And you incredible fans... It is unbelievable to see that kind of cheer, commitment and feeling that I have had a privilege to witness on my short trip with you all. It is hard to accept the fact that I’m not allowed to do that anymore. Only the memory remains. I want to thank every single person that has been there for us on our way to Wonderland. You are the only reason we have had the chance to do it. Words cannot express the feeling that I have for you.

Especially I want to thank all of you who have supported me in the toughest time of my life. You are the only reason that I’m still standing.

It’s maybe too early to talk about my future. After a thing like this it’s probably better to just let time pass without any agendas. I’ve lived my whole life having always a clear goal, witch I have just lost. Thought of starting it all over again seems a bit distant right now. But never say never.

Goodbye my friends and thanks for everything,

Janne Kärkkäinen